Midnight Musings

I can't sleep tonight. It is 3:17am and I can hear the beautiful rain falling on the roof, which usually makes for a perfectly cosy environment for sleep, and yet it eludes me. I think through the day that has been and consider the day that is to come, and it feels like groundhog day - isolation with three little kids; limited freedom to leave the house; time spent engaging the kids in activities and playfulness whilst navigating the constant refereeing and coaching that comes with sibling squabbles; a hungering for community and connection left unmet; the sense of powerlessness in the world's current chaos; a longing for the old ways. And for how long? Who knows. Hence the feeling of groundhog day.

And so I grab my bible and open it up with the hope for some truth to hold onto so that sleep may finally come. This is the truth that I find : it is okay to not know that days ahead because the days are already fully known and written out by Someone who has it all under control.

With all that is going on and the enforced isolation that we are all enduring, it is clear that this world is not functioning in the perfectly Eden-like way that God intended. The brokenness of this broken world has entered our doors and our families and alter the trajectory of our lives. And it all feels very inconvenient!

In these moments, it is tempting to conclude that life is all about surviving the chaos. We feel that we don't have any power, we have been confronted with the fact that there is not much that we actually control, and we have no idea what might be lurking around the corner.

But this is not where God's Word leaves us... thank freaking goodness! Yes, it does confront us with our smallness, weakness, and lack of control, but it doesn't leave us there. The bible declares something to us that is the opposite of the way we tend to thing - it tells us that the difficulties that we face everyday, the chaos that greets us in the constant news feed, are not the result of the world being out of control, but the result of the reign of One who is complete control. There are so many stories that remind us of how, out of total chaos or seeming defeat, God finds a way to magnificently orchestrate a way through. Defeating giants, tearing walls down, healing forever-wounds, raising hope in the hopelessness, bringing light to the darkness, allowing life to trample over death. We often forget these truths when we are in the middle of the mess, or the middle of the night.

What are you facing that you wouldn't be facing if you were in control? What are are required to deal with that you really wish you could avoid? Where have your plans dripped like sand through your fingers? Where do you tend to to look over the fence and wish you had someone else's life? Where do you feel troubled, inadequate, weak, defeated, overwhelmed, or alone? Where do thoughts of the past tend to flood you with regret, or visions of the future make you a bit afraid?

Now is the time to be reading and re-reading the bible for all of the stories that proclaim victory and peace in the midst of the storm, or just the mundane grind of the unknown. And now is the time to be sharing our own stories of these moments as we continue to co-author God's word through our little lives. Keep these truths flowing!

So no matter what life might look like from your vantage point right now, even in the sleeplessness of night, the world is not out of control; no, it is under careful rule. As radical as that thought is, it is not radical enough, because it does not give justice to the exquisite redeeming work being done around us. And this careful rule and radical redemption has YOU and ME in view. Right now, Jesus rules over all things for the sake of his children, advocating for us in all things, especially in the midst of the chaos... and this is where peace is to be found.

"Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

"And he [God] put all things under his [Christ's] feet and gave him as head over all things..." Ephesians 1:22

And so as I consider the day to come, I can rest in the fact that this is all unfolding for a reason. This truth can let us relax into hours of puzzles, playing, walks, naps, movies, drawing and focused time with my kids. No, it doesn't have to feel like a boring groundhog day... it can be life well lived.

Good night.