Interruptions and "If Onlys"

From the very beginning, I have always taught my kids to place their hand on my hand if I was talking to someone. This was our little secret signal that they wanted my attention and they needed to wait until I could pause my conversation. We practised this over and over (even when their was no other person there) so that they could master this polite interaction. I used sickly-sweet positive affirmation each time we had our 'dress rehearsals' and they managed to muster up the self-control and wait for just a moment. What a good mumma I am! Despite all of this training and positive encouragement over the last seven years... my kids are still utterly TERRIBLE at it. Hopelessly horrible at waiting even for 10 seconds for my attention. Their little voices just get louder and louder, then they move to pulling up my dress or pulling down my pants, which grants them instant attention. Clearly I have very clever children. I claim this as one of my ultimate fails because, darn it, I have worked so hard at this with them and still they suck at it. Go me. Through the many humiliating moments of public undressing and failed politeness, I have had to fight the fiery frustration that this causes in me. The truth is that I am incredibly intolerant of interruptions.

Last month I spent each day reading Philippians, a short letter in the New Testament. And the verse that stuck out to me over and over again was this ; "I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation" (4:12). Contentment is often the thing that we strive most for in our lives, and it is often the motivator to all that we do. But so often this striving for contentment is faulty at its very core because our understanding of contentment is distorted. And then our approach becomes about how to change what has lead to our discontentment. The "if onlys" start to creep in and our desire for contentment is distorted.

"If only my kids would not interrupt me when I'm talking..."

"If only I lost enough weight to fit into my skinny jeans again..."

"If only my kids were out of nappies..."

"If only we could go on a trip to Thailand..."

"If only my husband was more helpful with the kids..."

"If only we had enough money to renovate our house..."

"If only my baby slept through the night..."

...THEN I WILL BE CONTENT.

All of these things are wonderful things to long for (especially the full night's sleep!!!) but if we keep waiting for these things to happen perfectly before we are content, then we will live a life of total discontentment. And we know that discontentment leads to disappointment, and disappointment can lead to despair.

I have had many moments where I have tearfully vented my despair and frustration to hubby about the kids' incessant inability not to interrupt and I have found myself adopting a lens of irritation and anger. But then I think about this verse and realise that viewing these situations in such a way will only ever lead to dissatisfaction and discontent - the total opposite of what we strive for. So what needs to change? My lens. My attitude. My heart.

If I continue to view these interruptions as annoying and impolite, then I can't ever be content in conversation. But if I shift my lens to see the situation differently, my heart and attitude will (over time) shift too. No matter what your "if onlys" are, we can learn to set aside the lens of discontentment and put on a new perspective...

"My kids love me and need me."

"My body is beautifully and wonderfully made."

"My children are still young enough to hold in my arms."

"Happy holiday memories are not based on the destination."

"My husband provides and serves me in other ways."

"The beauty of our home resides in the people who live in it."

"I am providing security and belonging for my baby through the night."

This lens is called gratitude, or thankfulness. And a huge amount of research reveals that taking the time to shift our perspective into one of thankfulness does, in fact, change our hearts over time and lead to contentment. Even knowing the research and the enormous amount of literature that is out there on this (#gratitude), I am still terrible at taking the time to stop and shift my gaze. But if I do take the time to do this, then we can have gratitude for everything that God has allowed us to have that is good, which we may not be focusing on right now. Gratitude that he is sufficient. Not just to get us through what is difficult - such as the constant interruptions or deeper sense of despair - but sufficient to bring us through these hard times with a content heart. And where there is contentment there is joy.

Try this today. Notice the little things that are lovely, innocent, beautiful, sweet, unnoticed. Shift your lens to see the good. The facts of the situation won't change, but our perspective on them can. We may not be able to control our circumstances but we do have the ability to control how we view them... public undressing and all.