From Little Things...

Parenting is hard. Really hard at times. We invest so much in these little people and yet who they grow into is mostly out of our control. We teach patience, we teach manners, we teach kindness, we teach them not to hit/scratch/bite/snatch/kick. We teach them "please and thank you" from before they can speak, even through the use of sign language. And yet, so often these things seem to fall on deaf ears or are forgotten in an instant. One step forward, a million steps back.

Mummas understand the concept of little. From painfully little achievements that come (or don't come) despite our greatest efforts, to days surrounded by little things - we wash little kitchen utensils, pack little lunches, find little socks, hold little hands, carry little bodies. Our necks ache from looking down and our knees crack from squatting. We also live by the progress of little. Cleaning up the playroom one small block at a time, guiding a heart one tantrum at a time, and nourishing a body (or at least keeping it alive) one meal at a time. If there is one thing motherhood has taught me, it’s that growth and order aren’t the result of one big sweeping action, but of MANY little moments added together over months and years... and years... and years. The things that you do five days a week, or seven days a week at 9:00 a.m., or at 7:00p.m., those little things make more impact than those big events that happen in your child’s life. It sounds terrifyingly simple but it simply comes down to this :

How did you speak to them every day?

What did you emphasise in life, though both time and money?

Were you available, or were you distracted?

How did you manage stress? How did you manage conflict?

What was your response to failure?

What did they witness in your interactions with other people?

What narrative did they hear from you each day about life?

It is these things that are going to shape and build who they are. As I said, terrifyingly simple. 'Terrifying' because they are things that we do without often realising. 'Simple' because these are the things that we naturally do everyday. It’s not necessarily the big holidays or milestone birthday parties and best ever presents - those things are important and yes, they are going to make memories, but that is not really what’s going to shape their character in the end.

I can speak to this personally of witnessing my Mum opening up our home to a range of different people. When we were growing up, Mum always offered generous hospitality to whoever needed it. Young, old, rich, poor, citizen, refugee, friend, stranger. There was constantly people in our house, filling our huge dining room table. However there was never a big haughty explanation of the ideology and theology of why we offer hospitality and serve people through opening up our home. I just saw it lived out each day - it was our normal. But because of that day in, day out example, I now do a lot of that myself without even realising it. I channel the lessons that my Mum taught me without really teaching me. I simply saw her live it out faithfully, humbly and willingly. And those little moments ended up slowly sketching out the roadmap for how to live my life and use our home.

So how can we live out faith and see those little moments as important? We know that we should value all that we do as a parent, and sometimes that burden can feel really big. But it's not about getting it perfectly right all the time - in fact, I would argue that the biggest "littlest" lessons come in the times that we fail, get angry, display nasty frustration, and how we go about redeeming those moments. It’s the humble prayers that we pray when no one is watching; the way we faithfully discipline our children when it all feels like it is not making any skerrick of difference; it's the mundane work that we do that we don’t get thanked for; it's the patience of explaining the same rule/principle over and over and over again to little forgetful ears. For the mumma who is tired of little things and little thanks, I want you to hear that God sees you and He can cause tiny things to produce a huge harvest for His Kingdom. For when we do all of these things out of our heart of worship to God, with a desire to live our lives in a way that glorifies Him, and with the hopeful longing of passing our faith on to our children, then we are living a life that is fruitful and beautiful. Simply beautiful.

So start thinking about how you are living out your faith as a witness for your children right now - not waiting until a more convenient time, or a more exciting time (because that time will never actually come). And if you are not sure how or what you are doing that is witnessing to your kids, then ask God to show you by opening your eyes to the little things. If you are really stuck, then sometimes the very best place to start is with an "I'm sorry". There is no greater lesson that we can teach our children other than the redeeming power of God's grace that He offers to us over and over and over again.

Stay the course, Mumma. Moment by moment, day by day, flaw by flaw, little by little... God is growing beautiful big things through you.