Empty

How’s your soul today?  

I’ve asked that question to many young mums over the years and almost without fail I get the same answer: My soul is empty.

Little wonder. A typical morning in the life of a young mum, described for me recently, went like this:

"I fought with my three-year-old over a plate, of all things. She decided it was not okay when I told her she had to choose between a plate or a bowl for breakfast. Then my one year old hurled his bowl from his highchair, mushed milk flew through the air, creating more chaos. I yelled at my husband, who was only looking for a clean pair of socks, and then at God, “Help!” as I tried to juggle two screaming children, a part time job and now a husband working from home."

Sound familiar? Most mums I speak to often feel discombobulated, guilty and stretched, believing they’ve failed before the day’s even begun. And then, there’s the rest of the day! It’s like their inner being is worn down and they’re losing their zest for life, a bit like an orange that’s been juiced, leaving a discarded skin. No wonder so many young mums tell me their soul is empty.

I can relate. One of the most profoundly challenging and complex roles I have ever had has been in raising my children. It sometimes seems thankless, relentless, and like there is never time for me or for God. And yet, it is also one of the greatest privileges I’ve ever known, an opportunity that God is using to shape me more into the image of Christ as I raise and love my children. There is nothing like the refining fire of three vomiting children, blurred sleepless nights, exhaustion beyond comprehension, and the endless piles of unfolded washing.

So how can mums fill their soul? As I’ve walked alongside young mothers at my local church, listening to them talk about their thirst for God’s word in this busy season of life, I’ve often shared with them simple ways we connect with what little time and energy we have:

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1.  YOU HAVE THE TIME IT TAKES TO DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE.

Find a time of day that works when you can make a cup of coffee and drink it undisturbed (sometimes this can feel impossible but I dare you to at least try).  This is your time to spend with God. Start small – the time it takes to drink your hot drink.  If you need reminding, set an alarm. Have your bible or devotional books sitting near the place you like to sit while you drink your coffee... and keep your phone in another room.

2.  ASK FOR GOD’S HELP.

This prayer from Psalm 128:3 is one He will answer: “On the day I called, You answered me; My strength of soul You increased.” I was inspired when I learned that this verse was what Susanna Wesley used as her call to prayer. She had a husband who was hardly around, raised ten children (including John and Charles who went on to write some of the church’s most loved hymns), worked outside the home and still managed to find time to pray. She used to cover her head with an apron to pray and her children knew not to disturb her! You too can have that determination and grit, following her example to pray (apron optional).

3.  ENJOY SMALL NUGGETS OF GOODNESS FROM GOD’S WORD.

You could also start with Psalm 23 when you sit down with your coffee. Read it slowly and notice the details: The Lord is my shepherd. Commit to meditating on a verse or two throughout your day and let the words be written on your heart and mind as you wipe bottoms and do all the things. David used the image of a shepherd caring for his sheep to describe the relationship he had with God. The shepherd is everything to his sheep: guide, provider and protector.  And David uses a beautiful word here, my shepherd. He is your shepherd.  He loves you enough to care for you 24/7. You may not have time for a leisurely feast, but that's okay. Bite-sized spiritual nutrition can keep you nourished. 

4.  MEDITATE OR THINK DEEPLY ON EACH VERSE. 

When we intentionally notice the details in a verse, use our imagination and dig deep into what it says, our souls are nourished. We remember that in Jesus we have a shepherd who leads us beside still waters. As Psalm 23 says, God is with us when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death or midnight parenting, His rod and staff comfort us. We remember that one day we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  This is a wonderful promise, and if we fill our mind with it, we’ll experience the next beautiful verse: He restores my soul. In other words, if your soul is empty, let God’s word fill it and restore it.  Being a mum full time is enough to knock the stuffing out of you.  Yet these words He restores my soul remind us that the Great Shepherd can restore the soul of every weary mother. As we return to the truths of Scripture each day and pray, if only for a few minutes, we’ll see a new truth slowly soak into our lives, a new nugget to enjoy and sustain us through another day.  

5. LET WORSHIP MUSIC FILL YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR HEART.

If the small moment you grab is rudely interrupted by the loud roars of a hangry child, then fill your home with worship music as you move through your day. We have an enormous selection of music available to us which can bring us God's word through song. So many worship songs speak of God's character, his goodness and biblical truth of who we are in God's eyes. Let this truth flow over you through music and recharge you in your weariness, realign you in your identity, and renew your perspective moment by moment. Some of the most personal and profound encounters I have had with God have been in my kitchen during personal times of worship - real, raw, and full of revelation.

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So in the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee or listen to an album of worship music while doing the dishes, we can let God’s word fill us with its life, learning about God’s character, reminding us that He loves us so much that He wants to fill souls with goodness and sustain us in this significant vocation of motherhood... even when your three-year old is screaming about a darn breakfast plate.